Closure. No such thing.

I was discussing this with a very dear friend. We always hear that this or that person needs 'closure' for some tragedy that occurred. Let me clue you in. It is never closed. Short of some horrific accident or episode that causes you to lose your memory, whatever the event is, will ALWAYS be with you. It will crop up when you least expect it. A sound or a smell will trigger a switch in your subconscious, and the memories, as well as the feelings associated with them, will come crashing in on you. The real issue is how you deal with them. For myself, the best way is to face them head-on, and move TOWARD them. Not to run away. Not to try and bury them all over. Instead, look at them in the full light of day. See them for what they are. Memories of something past that you survived. Pray for strength to face them. God will hold you up.

Excellent read!

Biblical truths are tough, yet The Gospel must be taken as a whole, not just the parts that make you 'feel' good. That's the biggest mistake a lot of pastors make. They are afraid, or so it seems, of offending anyone, or making them feel bad. I have news for you. If, after hearing The Gospel, the "Good News", you DON'T feel guilt or discomfort, something is wrong. God is more than just love. He is wrath, justice, peace and more. Half measures make for full failures. In other words, only giving a smidgen of the Message sets up the hearer for failure. It makes for shallow roots. Only by giving the FULL message of the Gospel, can one hope to be saved, and make it stick. Contrary to many of the charlatans and false prophets out there, Jesus did NOT promise ease in this world for following Him. He promised trials, troubles, and danger. Our reward is not in this life but in the next.

A Romans 1 World

Romans 1 vs 18-32 reads as follows;

18(Acts 17:30)For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and Rom. 6:13; 2 Thess. 2:10; 2 Pet. 2:13; 1 John 5:17unrighteousness of men, who suppress the truth in unrighteousness, 19because (Acts 14:17; 17:24)what may be known of God is manifest in them, for (John 1:9)God has shown it to them. 20For since the creation of the world Job 12:7–9; Ps. 19:1–6; Jer. 5:22His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but 2 Kin. 17:15; Jer. 2:5; Eph. 4:17became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22Jer. 10:14; (1 Cor. 1:20)Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23and changed the glory of the 1 Tim. 1:17; 6:15, 16incorruptible Deut. 4:16–18; Ps. 106:20; Jer. 2:11; Acts 17:29God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.

24Ps. 81:12; Acts 7:42; Eph. 4:18, 19Therefore God also gave them up to uncleanness, in the lusts of their hearts, 1 Cor. 6:18to dishonor their bodies Lev. 18:22among themselves, 25who exchanged 1 Thess. 1:9the truth of God Is. 44:20; Jer. 10:14; 13:25; 16:19for the lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

26For this reason God gave them up to Lev. 18:22; Eph. 5:12vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due.

28And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things Eph. 5:4which are not fitting; 29being filled with all unrighteousness, sexual immorality, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, evil-mindedness; they are whisperers, 30backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, 31undiscerning, untrustworthy, unloving, unforgiving, unmerciful; 32who, (Rom. 2:2)knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things (Rom. 6:21)are deserving of death, not only do the same but also (Ps. 50:18); Hos. 7:3approve of those who practice them.

Sure seems to speak of the events of the present. Here in the US, it seems like a large proportion of the masses are going, or have already gone insane. The absolute crazy emanating from much of the Left in Universities, Main Stream Media, be it 'News' or 'sports', as well as the 'Celebrity Class' is astounding and vile. It is also violent.It has been said by many that Leftists 'Project'. In other words, they accuse you of the very things THEY think or feel. They don't debate facts. They hurl invective, they shout down anyone who doesn't tow the line, and they use race or any other ism as an afterthought. 

They condemn the KKK, but not Antifa or Black Lives Matter, who is just as vile and despicable, yet MORE violent. In fact, they run cover for them. The division of this Nation is nearly complete due to this insanity and hate. Throw in the LGBTQABCDEFG crowd and you have a perfect storm for the destruction of a Nation. It's happening right in front of our eyes if only we'd open them. 

All this can be traced to a single root cause. That cause is the relentless attack on God. The One TRUE God. The God this Nation revered at the time of its founding. The God of the Bible. Since the 1960's and 70's they have found activist Judges who IGNORE The Constitution and LIE about its meaning, they have gained control of what was once Education and turned it into Indoctrination, so much o that most students are completely ignorant of The Constitution and its REAL intent. They only know a bastardized and perverted version of our History and are incurious to learn what they don't know! Again, a Nation such as this is doomed. 

God tends to allow you to suffer the consequences of your actions. It's a harsh lesson, but man is stupid and corrupt. Israel was chastised over and over. I believe it's happening to the World in general, and the U.S. in particular as we speak. We are seeing the results of a Nation given over to the lusts of their heart to impurity because we've exchanged the Truth of God for a lie. Don't believe me? Listen to the sermons in so many buildings that pass for churches. You will find a LOT of heresy and little Truth. 

The ONLY answer, is for the majority of people to Repent and Turn to God with a humble and contrite heart. Even then, nothing is guaranteed. He allows what He will. Yet he usually saves a remnant and brings them through. We need, no, we MUST turn to God and seek after forgiveness. Only then will the Nation be healed. Only then. Until such happens, we continue on the path to darkness and destruction.

What a drive..

I haven't driven long haul in a number of years, though, I have run the upper midwest. Similar experiences, but home more often. I've wondered if I'd ever want to go long haulin' again, as this Nation IS beautiful, and there are many interesting people you meet. Then, I drive to Louisiana in my car to see family while on vacation, and my question is answered. A resounding HELL NO! Just that little 2200 mile jaunt is enough to convince me.

I've been a professional driver since 1989. I've been blessed to be quite good at it. I do the same thing I do at any job I've held. I give my best at all times. I pay attention to detail, and try to be as safe as I can as there is little room for error when driving big truck, and a 'little error' can cost a number of people to lose their lives. When I first got into the industry, many drivers thought that way. We took pride in that we didn't drive like the average 'Four Wheeler'. In other words, like a completely clueless moron, ignorant of anything resembling common sense or courtesy  behind the wheel. Well, truckers, in general, can't say that any more. If anything, they are getting as bad. This is not a good thing, as the average four wheeler has gotten worse.

In my 17 hours down, and 17 hours back, I nearly got hit about 4-6 times an hour. Why? Simple. Too many seem to think they're race car drivers. Speed limits matter not. Tailgating matters not. Getting so close to the car ahead of you that you almost scrape the paint off when pulling out to pass matters not.Texting while driving matters not. There are enough dangers on the highways from animals, bad pavement, and weather. Add to that mix a growing population of beyond the pale, entitled dumbasses to the mix, and it can be pretty stressful driving.

Many of the Truck drivers I witnessed were not much better. In Missouri, I had one so close, I could only see the horizontal lines of his grille in my rear view mirror. I've bitched about my fellow drivers before, and rightly so. I've come to hold a large number in contempt. I no longer automatically assume a four wheeler did something dumb in front of the semi to cause the wreck. Now, it's just as likely the trucker was at fault. It's only going to get worse as our society continues it's decline. Yes, they are related. The decline of a society slowly infects every aspect of it, rotting from within. We see this in every area of our lives. From the declining respect for life, to politics, to the declining respect for Law. Until we repent, turn away, it will only get worse.

A New Direction

Changing course is never easy, especially as you grow older. The old saw is that "With age comes Wisdom." I would add "sometimes belatedly". I've followed Christ, albeit imperfectly, for 18 years officially, and about 20 over all. My return to Faith, as it were, began in a Memphis, Indiana truck stop. A guy from a local Baptist Church was handing out copies of the New Testament. I snarkily asked why only the New? Do you not think there is any application of the Old Testament? I was being a smart ass, true. He looked at me a moment, smiled, then wrote some Scripture passages in the front, and handed me HIS Bible. Needless to say, it made an impression. As an aside, why do we say "Needless to say", and then say it? Weird.

So, my return to Faith got a start right there. I started reading the Bible again. I started praying even more than I had when growing up Catholic.For the first few years after, I read often. Then, less so, as I was reading other authors and their takes. Some I disagreed with, others became staples, such as John MacArthur, R.C. Sproul and J. Vernon Mcgee. I also came across the likes of Hank Hanegraaf at the Christian Research Institute and Ray Comfort. The former says "Test all things in light of Scripture and hold on to that which is true." Test ALL. There are false teachers out there. Wolves in sheeps clothing. They snare the unwary. The unwary are the Biblically illiterate. If you study your Bible, and listen and compare what is said, you will not fall for the lies. Too many do because they don't study. Ray Comfort points out, in open air preaching, the WHY of needing a savior. He uses the 10 commandments, how we all violate them, and how that looks to a Holy and Righteous God. Too many churches today have been Osteenified. They don't want to make people uncomfortable. If the Gospel DOESN'T make you uncomfortable in your sin, you're doing it WRONG!!

Jesus PROMISED trials, not riches and ease! Today's 'churches' are a pale shadow of what once was. They are not biblical. I fell for the "ask Jesus into your heart" 'sinners prayer' stuff. It's not Biblical. Jesus called for repentance, that the wages of sin was DEATH. You were to turn away from sin and follow HIM. Paul preached to believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Repent, and believe. We are saved by grace, through faith, which is a gift from God, and not by works, so that none may boast. Saved by grace, through Faith in Jesus.

So, what course change? I'm too hung and focused on politics. No more. It doesn't matter. I need to dive BACK into Scripture. I have much to read, and more to learn. No matter how many times you read, you learn something new. So, there it is.

A Ramble. Or, if you prefer, a Rant.

A friend said that my attitude seemed darker lately. Wondered if maybe it was because of my job, now my previous job, as I've moved on. That may have been part of it, as I had many frustrations and issues that I figured were not going to be cleared up anytime soon. When you're in a situation like that, you either continue to put up with it, or bag it. I decided to bag it. Still, I had to wonder. Was mr. Happy Most of the Time Guy gone? No. He's there. He's around most of the time. He just sees alot of things coming. Dark things. Seeing the coming darkness doesn't destroy my personal happiness. Nor my joy.

There's a difference you know.  Happiness, in my view, is found in many things. For instance, the coffee shop at the Church I go to has a drink called a Cherry Bomb. It made me VERY happy. After the brain freeze subsided and my face started moving again. Seeing Marge after 2 weeks made me happy. She's one of the ladies I greet with, and she's like a Grandmom to me. I love that lady, just like another Margaret in Louisiana. Anyway, she's great, and I always smile broader than normal when I see her. Her husband doesn't come anymore. He's starting to fade and is too weak. Another gal who makes me smile there is Carola. She's from Germany, married to Pierre from Quebec. She's wicked smart and wicked sweet. She's in Germany just now as her dad just passed last week. I miss her and Pierre. They brought me some meals when I was out with my knee, and then my calf tear. They, as well as other family and friends make me happy. Happy to be around, and happy to think about when apart.

Joy comes from one source in my book. God. Everyday I am joyful to be alive. Not always happy about it, but joyful, nonetheless. He is my source of energy, my ability to shrug off damn near anything and continue on with life. Even when I'd rather not. He is my strength and determination. He is always there to listen. I hold nothing back. How could I? He already knows. He sent His son, as well as the Holy Spirit. For me. How could I be anything less than Joyful? So, how can I be joyful, yet sometimes unhappy? In many things, happiness is external. Joy comes from within.

I spend a great deal of time alone. That's the nature of my job. I have lots of time to think, especially since the truck I drive has crappy radio reception. You'd think truck manufacturers would work on that, but, no. As the trucks become more packed with technology, radio reception suffers. The old external a.m. antenna is gone, for the most part. Another relic. Like me. Also, audio books wouldn't work to well in this job as some of the trips are quite short. Anyway, I have a lot of time to think, to pray, to ponder. Since I drive at night, I have more time, as most people are home in bed except for the other nightingales and the drinkers. I don't see many of them. So, you can sing to yourself, or talk and pray to the Father. I do the latter frequently. Some of the guys I used to talk to at night no longer run the dark hours, so, can't call them.

So, the darkness I see coming. Yes, I do see it. The World has gone nuts. Islam is running roughshod over a World that has decided not to stand. Morals in the West have been declared hateful by our 'Betters', and anyone displaying them is attacked. From the highest positions of power, outright lying and corruption is just fine, as long as 'Our Guy' is in charge. Dare criticize the current liar, and you're racist. That's another facet of the darkness. Racial tensions are being purposely driven up, and any criticism of blacks is suddenly racist. Our History is even under attack and in danger of being totally perverted. So, yes. I see darkness ahead as too many people are oblivious. You can't run a Nation like this, as poorly as it's been run over the last 70 years, with a less civicly knowledgeable populace, and remain free. The Constitution is ignored, folded, spindled and mutilated until it resembles nothing like the document put out and ratified, finally, in 1790. Too many operate on feelings instead of thought. NEVER a good thing. So I see darkness.

Yet, I see light and much to smile about every hour of every day. I make people smile if they aren't. I find a way. I want them to have the simple joy of life that I have. No matter how dark it gets, or how dark I may come across, I am truly full of light and life, and the love of both. As a flawed, fallen human being, I am capable of evil. As a child of God, adopted and grafted into the Tree of Life through Jesus, I am able, through Him, to resist. THAT, is where Joy and Perseverance comes from.
End of Ramble..

                                                                                 Billiam

Musings

I often wonder what my immediate future holds. Not for long, of course, but I do. I know that my old age will not be pleasant, as I have little savings for retirement, nor do I think SSI will be viable. Still, I don't worry, as my trust is in something greater than I. So, I don't lose sleep over it. The pages are already written. Despite the pain, I will go on. To do less would be an insult to Him who created me. Do I wish for an end? Yes, sometimes. It's His story though, not mine. I am but a player who must do his level best each day to honor the Author of Life. Anything less, would be an insult. Do I fail? EVERY DAY! Sometimes miserably. Yet, He picks me up, dusts me off, and sends me forth yet again. Even when I would that it were over. I am tired, yet, His grace is sufficient. THAT, is the Hope that lies within me. Sometimes, it's all I have. All any of us has.

"The fool says in his heart, there is no God!" There are many fools these days. There are many churches populated by them. They buy into the prosperity 'gospel', or the name it claim it 'gospel', or the everything is sunshine and lollipops 'gospel', or the god wants you to be happy all the time 'gospel, or the god is love and love only 'gospel'. In other words, there's a LOT of false preaching going on. It's mostly feel good pap that doesn't develop deep roots that can withstand adversity and hard times. It doesn't tell one the WHY of Jesus' sacrifice, or of the wrath of God! Jesus PROMISED us trials and hard times. He said the World will hate us, but to remember that it hated Him first. Sound like sunshine being blown up your backside? I didn't think so. No, these churches mustn't make the butts in the pews uncomfortable! Lord no! They might get offended and leave!

Or, they might realize how wretched we are, how sinful, and they just might be saved from the wrath to come! When challenged, they might be able to withstand, and give a reason for the hope that lies within, rather than fall away! They might stand! The Gospel of Jesus, the Word of God SHOULD make you uncomfortable!  It should make you hang your head in shame at your wretchedness! It should make you question your life! Why?! Because it will then, and ONLY then, lift you up to heights you never imagined, and they'll be real! When attacked, you'll stand, because you stand on HIS word! You have a solid base. Deep roots. Testing will come. Every day. Challenges, from others, and yourself. With deep roots, you won't quit, nor will you recant. With deep roots, NOTHING will turn you away from the Author of Life. Nothing will shake your faith in Him, as well as the Son and the holy Spirit. You will love Him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength. All day, every day.